If this makes absolutely no sense to anybody else, sorry. It was hilarious at the time.

Me: Mum, you know what I was thinking?
Mum: What's that?
Me: Esther-Ruth and I were thinking we should have a clothes swap, because it doesn't really matter to us if we buy new clothes, or if they're just new to us.
Mum: That's a good idea.
Dad: Yeah, I like that idea too. When I get back on used victoria (Dad is currently on a used victoria fast), that's going to be my first ad: I'm a 40 year old man and I'm bored of my clothes. Anybody want to trade? I've got jeans and lots of black shirts. I'll trade you for a blue shirt?

(We all look at Dad. He is currently wearing jeans, and a black shirt underneath another black shirt. Laughter ensues.)
Dad: That wasn't that funny. (Goes to throw something in the garbage.)
Dad: Hold the phone! (Pulls can opener out of the garbage.) You're throwing this baby away?
Mum: It doesn't work.
Dad: I can make it work like a charm. Besides, we paid 40 bucks for this thing because it had a lifetime warranty.
Mum: Do you really feel like driving out to Sears and getting a new one?
Dad: I love that feeling. Anyways, this one works fine. You just have to squeeze it really hard and twist these things a bit, because the blades don't come all the way together otherwise. (Dad then proceeds to twist the handles of the can opener and try and bend them back together.)
Aaron: In other words, it doesn't work.
Mum: I'm going to have my nap now.
Dad: (tosses can opener back in garbage.) Whatever. It can go.
Aaron: Well, it was fun while it lasted, right Dad?
(Dad slaps Aaron and returns to his office.)